Fantasy food trucks that could rule the roads
From the "it's always election day" sausage truck to the toast and tea vendor, Larissa Dubecki shares her list of dream food vans. What would you add to the list?
The food truck was a good idea waiting for technology to set it free. Like Jules Verne's submarine, or Leonardo Da Vinci's flying machine, the kitchen on wheels was a concept ahead of its time. It only had to wait for the invention of social media to release the handbrake on its potential.
The godfather of food trucks, Los Angeles chef Roy Choi, showed how to use Twitter and Facebook and Korean short rib tacos to lure several hundred people at a pop to an empty supermarket car park.
What a smarty pants. He tapped not only into his customers' hunger pangs but their thirst for adventure and the eternal pursuit of cool.
Newsweek magazine called Choi's Kogi trucks "America's first viral eatery", which could have killed the concept dead had anyone stopped to think about the connotations, but think they didn't and eat they did. And eat.
The only restaurants capable of simultaneously getting stuck in traffic and messaging customers about the delay are diversifying faster than you can say American barbecue-Thai street food-New Orleans gumbo.
In that spirit, try these fantasy food trucks on for size. They're free of red tape (no mobile food vehicle permits needed here) and occasionally flout the laws of physics, but in the perfect food truck world these would rule the road.
The one-dish restaurant truck
Move over Mr Whippy, here's the MoVida smoked tomato sorbet truck - anchovy optional. Ditto the Golden Fields lobster roll (Twitter: @LobsterRoller). And the Gazi souvlaki should definitely have its own vehicle, but only if George Calombaris drives.
The playground truck
Does the rounds of playgrounds, spreading coffee, cheer and super-sweet pastries to exhausted parents pretending to enjoy the hundredth game of chasey.
Twitter: @AreWeThereYet
The salted caramel truck
You name it, we add salted caramel to it. Also does take-away two-litre containers. Pending consumer demand, the unsalted caramel truck.
Twitter: @MakesEverythingBetter
The toast with Vegemite and a cup of tea truck
A tribute to Dani Valent. Vegemite can be ordered, "just a scrape" and "right to the edges".
Twitter: @MightAndVegemite
The very best toasted sandwich truck
Two choices: cheese, or ham and cheese. Noisette bread with Pyengana cheddar, a bit of Comte, Myrtleford butter and Istra ham.
Twitter: @ToastessWithTheMostess
The "it's always election day" sausage truck
The supermarket snag in Tip Top white sliced bread. Fried onion and American mustard optional. Served wrapped in an authentic Senate ballot paper. Must have correct change.
Twitter: @DemocracyDogs
The un-hip food truck
Clean-shaven tracksuit wearers listen to MIX FM while serving the naff food everyone secretly likes: burgers with canned beetroot, pineapple and an egg cooked in an egg ring, Milo forming a thick crust on cold milk, packet jelly, Coon cheese and cabana on toothpicks. A certified hipster exclusion zone.
Twitter: @BeardlessBurger
The future food truck
An invertebrate-only menu: snails (try the French or Cambodian recipe), fried crickets, mealworms and centipedes. On licence from Rene Redzepi.
Twitter: @NomaRoamer
An offal lot of love truck
A nose to tail bonanza, from head cheese to pigs' trotters and everything in between. Immediately recognisable thanks to the life-sized effigy of chef Fergus Henderson on the roof.
Twitter: @ItTakesGuts
The smokin' food truck
Doesn't matter what. Meat, dairy, veg, rubber. Guaranteed to do a burnout with every family-sized meal deal.
Twitter: @SmokingHot
The cultural cringe truck
Whatever's totally hot right now in New York, London, Paris and Rio de Janeiro. Cronuts and ramen burgers, pork buns and Korean short rib tacos. Menu changes every 24 hours.
Twitter: @ArseEndOfTheWorld
The Eastern European express
Comfort food from behind the Iron Curtain. Cup-a-borscht, pierogi with sour cream and dill, cabbage every which way. Weeping permitted.
Twitter: @UncleJoes
The Sopranos food truck
All the family favourites from Tony Soprano and his food-loving mob, from pasta fazool to Artie Bucco's special one-handed marinara and quail, Sinatra-style.
Twitter: @GoombahTruck
The fried rice food van
One dish: fried rice made with guanciale, king prawns and organic free-range eggs. No peas.
Twitter: @RealNiceFriedRice
The Harry Potter platform nine and three-quarters truck
Magically appears when you stagger out of a bar at 3am. On the menu: hot chips, Panadol, Berocca and a pillow. If you ask nicely they might even drive you home.
Twitter: @BadDogGoHome
This article was originally published in December 2013
What's your dream food truck? Jump on the comments and share your suggestion.
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Larissa Dubecki is a writer and reviewer.