What is open: Melbourne Cup 2016 restaurants, bars and pubs

Whip out your frock, fascinator and form guide. Melbourne Cup is upon us which means it's time to pretend we know the first thing about racing and spend the first Tuesday of November suppressing enough joie de vivre to make it to 3pm with both shoes on.

But what to do if you're not up for heading to Flemington, but still want to watch the race outside of your own lounge room? Here's a few sure bets away from the track.

FOR PONIES AND NAIL POLISH

The Langham

One for the fashion fans. For $129 The Langham is offering Cup lunch inclusive of free-flowing sparkling and a free full-size bottle of OPI nail polish. Is that a good brand? I have no idea. But it's free, so what the heck? The marketing arm of White Glo is throwing in free toothpaste too. What a time to be alive.

1 Southgate Avenue Southbank, 1800 641 107, langhamhotels.com/en/the-langham/melbourne

FOR HOT TUESDAY TRUFFLE ACTION

Pascale Bar and Grill

The QT's flash New Yorky restaurant is rocking a three-course menu and all the televised action from Flemington for $135 per person. There's Mumm brut rosé on arrival served with black truffle and three-cheese profiteroles, a spit-roasted truffle chicken as your choice of main and chocolate truffle for dessert. So much trufflin' on a Tuesday.

1/133 Russell Street Melbourne, 03 8636 8808, qthotelsandresorts.com/melbourne

FOR A PUNT ON THE WATER

Mr Lawrence at The London

The bayside boozer is streaming horses from midday and offering three courses and canapes for $65. All the race excitement is upstairs on the big screen while on the ground level of the White Knight it's business as usual (although there is a smaller telly if you're keen for a quieter beer and low key bet).

92 Beach Street Port Melbourne, 03 9077 4992, mrlawrence.com.au

FOR A SUPER LOW-KEY CUP

Cumulus Inc.

Closed for breakfast but open for lunch, Cumulus is the spot to head if your racing interest is "passing" at best. The restaurant's standard carte of deliciousness is being served so you can order a few Clair de Lunes, share a lamb shoulder, read the paper and maybe watch the race on your phone. Or not. Whatever. It's up to you. Where's that rum baba?

45 Flinders Lane Melbourne, 03 9650 1445, cumulusinc.com.au

FOR RICE WINE AND RACING

Sake Restaurant & Bar

Flinders Lane party-time sushi joint is serving punters a Japanese banquet including its signature kingfish with jalapeno, wagyu rump with white kimchi and matcha tiramisu. $95 sorts you out for cracking food and a glass of Veuve on arrival. Champagne: very important. Sake's twin sister at Hamer Hall is rocking a Cup Day shindig too.

121 Flinders Lane Melbourne, 1300 670 910, sakerestaurant.com.au