Bryan Martin: Carpaccio of salmon with walnut and pumpkin seed dukkah

I've come to this conclusion that it's just so hard being an ageing modern male. It must have been so easy for cavemen; just hunt down food that won't kill you and wait until someone invents fire so you can have a barbecue. However, right now, at the coal face, there's so much stuff you need be planning and implementing just to keep it all together.

Being healthy of body is hard enough let alone the mind as well. Now, that thing will mess you up. Everyday stress and worry has you in this tense posture. You would have thought that hitting the sidewalk on a bi-weekly run would be all you need. Not so. It seems like there's all sorts of processes you need to put your body through to stop you freaking out on any given day: the right diet, meditation, yoga. The list goes on. Isn't there some sort of short cut like a protein shake that can do the same for your mind as your biceps?

Meditation sounds easy enough but who, besides Jerry Seinfeld, has that time? If they could invent speed meditation, I'd be there in a flash so the next step is to try yoga. Again, it seems so slow and, like, can't we speed this up, got things to do, people, builders to hassle, superannuation to sort out.

My partner, who I listen to, convinced me to join her in a yoga class that she swears by. This is done in a steamy room set at 38C, called Bikram Yoga. I'm thinking OK, this could be fun or awkward.

First, everyone is in minimal clothing, which seems odd while you are waiting to go into the room. Inside you are not meant to make any voluntary noise, so iphones are frowned upon. Lying there, quietly on your mat, in the 'dead body pose', it was very relaxing, no background noise, just a whole lot of people deep breathing and getting ready for something to happen. The instructor arrives – if she had a whip it wouldn't have surprised me – and spends the next 90 minutes getting everyone in the room to move through a couple of dozen poses that frankly are just short of impossible to achieve and look, to an outsider, very weird. My personal favourite was the 'toe stand' in which you lift one foot onto the thigh of the other leg – not something you do in normal life – and then slowly lower yourself until you are sitting on the toes of the other foot. Try it if you like or just look it up for the idea and a giggle.

It is torture. If the armed forces ever find that waterboarding isn't working any more, just sign 'interviewees' up for an hour and a half of this; they'll tell you everything you need to know. Aside from the impossible, improbable routines you have to get through, the class was amazingly invigorating. You sweat out close to 500 calories, make your body do stuff that it frankly is ill prepared to do but wow, you feel so loose and at peace.

Being a male, of course you are going to make it competitive. When we enter a room, any room, men will scope the environment, work out who there is predator or prey. Its neanderthal at best but really we haven't, despite appearances and the timespan, moved on much from being cavemen. That's like my point when I'm asked to take the washing out to the line. I'm fine, I can honestly say that this is a job that, privately, has always been easy to do: you wear clothes, you wash them, you dry them. However, today, I hesitate ever so slightly. "What's wrong? Are you stuck?"

"Well", I flounder, "You know the builders are having one of their many smokos right…..?" No, she doesn't get the subtleties of being a male in this situation. Back in the prehistoric times that we miss so much, this wouldn't have gone down well at all. The pack would set onto me. As I say, it's hard being a bloke.

She is still waiting for me to pick up the basket as I zone out…"Ok, but I'm absolutely not wearing that floral apron we keep the pegs in." "Sure honey, you are a proud male. Just hang the washing out and I'll get your peppermint tea ready, just the way you like it."

In my new found state of enlightenment, one where I'm at peace with the world and not stressed out why these builders are still here, two months after they promised they'd finish the job, I'm in the mood to work on the diet situation. What foods are out there that fit into this approaching state of Zen? Interestingly, the list is quite small.

Whole foods, grains, nuts, fruit and vegetables with the skin on seem to be the key to it. Avoid white bread and processed foods. Eat lots of omega-3 rich oily fish like salmon and the like. Lots of greens of which broccoli is top of the tree. Apparently just three blueberries a day seems to have an effect on your health. Pumpkin seeds, which are full of zinc and you need that to remember stuff like upcoming important anniversaries, and the best nut to eat is the walnut. Foods high in vitamin C like lemons and cranberries will go some way to help you stay on top of the game.

If you were to knock together a dish that can do, internally, what being healthy of body and mind promises, then I think it would go something like this.

500g salmon, the freshest you can find, sashimi-quality
¼ cup pumpkin seeds
2 tbsp coriander seed, toasted and lightly crushed
4 tbsp sesame seeds, toasted
6 walnuts, chopped
1 lemon
2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1 tsp salted capers, rinsed
2 tbsp parsley, chopped
Salt and pepper

Slice the salmon into very thin slices, arrange on a large serving plate. Chop the pumpkin seeds and mix with the coriander and sesame seeds and add the walnuts. This should be a quite loose seed mix. Just before serving, dress the salmon with lemon juice and olive oil, season and sprinkle the dukkah generously over and garnish with the capers and parsley. Serve with a robust, wholemeal sour dough.