Full of papal goodwill

Are you kidding me? This time, you people who decide what to give up, or start eating each month have gone way too far.

I'm totally fine with Movember, love it and have embraced it like no one else. Each year, I'm getting more creative with the facial hair plus having that underpinning self-satisfaction about doing something good for men's health.

Febfast is an annual time of abstinence for me, which isn't easy when you're in the alcohol industry where any suggestion that you cut down is generally frowned at. It's a piece of cake giving up booze for the month but try it at the same time as going cold turkey on caffeine. The body doesn't know which way to go. Am I tired, or sleepy drunk? What's he doing?! Who's in charge here?

It turns out alcohol is the least of your worries. Caffeine is the drug that digs its claws in and when you try to cleanse the body, gives you the most severe headache, like it's saying to you, haha, not going to happen, dude, turn on the machine. Still, once you are through the two to three days of torment you come out the other side feeling clear headed and alert, albeit bored.

So when I see hashtag meatfreeweek I get all uppity. What's so wrong with meat? Is this all meat? Surely you don't mean give up pork as well! Who is behind this? Some hippie with a twitter account.

I'm about to wade into a social-media campaign to suggest everyone gives up the following, all which annoy me at the moment: reality TV, the word smorgasbord, bread you haven't made yourself, kumatoes - what the hell are they? - and that's just the shortlist.

Sorry to be so aggressive about this. I should have just flicked over, like you do for thousands of tweets, but this one clearly set me off. There are only so many crusades we can join and I had just booked me a place at the Hog Wild Pork Fest in Renfrew, not far from Ottawa, so my calendar is filling fast and I can't fit in a meat-free week anywhere.

Anyone involved in grape production will be with me here. With vintage on us and what's looks like a boomer year, we are working long hours and little things set us off unreasonably. We take Febfast and Dry July on the chin but to take away our prime source of energy just when we need it, well, it's just not right.

However, it's Easter and us 1.2 billion Catholics are in a good mood since we've got a new Pope. A Pope who seemed as surprised as anyone to be given the baton, ring and key to heaven. Yo? En serio? Pero me acabo de comprar un pase de autobus seniors. Which is roughly, with the help of Google Translate, ''Me? Really? But I just bought a seniors bus pass.'' Yes, I'm on shaky ground, I know, and just hoping my mum doesn't read this.

So in deference to meat-free week and in the spirit of papal goodwill, I'll avoid meat this week, and bring together my random thoughts for the season with a peasant dish, one that is a staple during the harvest in Tuscany but still fits into the southern hemisphere Easter theme, you know the whole loaves and the fishes thing. A focaccia/pizza (the Tuscans call it schiacciata) with sun-ripened wine grapes, sangiovese to be exact, the great Tuscan red variety of Brunello di Montalcino, Vino Nobile de Montepulciano and Chianti. If you can't find wine grapes use black muscat or, substitute ripe figs or blueberries.

So it's back to breadmaking. If you don't have a mother, in the bread sense, you'll need to make a sponge to get the flavour right. If you ignore this and just make the dough for immediate use, well OK, but as you are eating it remember it could be so much better with some planning.

To make a sponge, mix 100 grams of baker's flour and 100 grams of cold water, plus the merest suggestion of dry baker's yeast, just a sprinkle. Mix to a pasty mass and let it ferment all day in a not-too-warm place. It should look bubbly and horrid. With this yeasty joy, you can make the bread dough.

Bryan Martin is a winemaker at Ravensworth and Clonakilla, bryanmartin.com.au

Schiacciata with wine grapes

620g baker's flour

375g cold water

200g bread starter or sponge (see story)

4 tbsp olive oil

4 tbsp finely chopped rosemary

2 tbsp salt flakes

2-3 bunches of ripe red-wine grapes

extra olive oil, rosemary and salt flakes

Measure the flour in a large bowl (head to a commercial caterer to find the biggest bowl you can - one you could bathe in - you'll never regret it). Scoop in the middle to make a well, then pour the water, then the starter or sponge into this. Mix everything into a sticky mess and leave for 30 minutes to hydrate.

Meanwhile, heat the oil and rosemary until it starts to simmer, stir in the salt and let it cool a bit. Pour the schiacciata, which is sort of what the oil and rosemary mix is called, over the dough and start kneading.

Knead in a gathering, squeezing, pushing away and pulling towards you motion for a minute or so, then leave it to rest, adding more flour as needed. After 10 minutes, repeat. Do this three or four more times. By now you should have a pretty elastic dough. Dust on plenty of flour and leave to prove on the bench for four to eight hours, covered loosely with a damp tea towel.

It's all temperature dependent, so watch it. Once it's almost doubled in size, push it flat to expel some air and divide in two. Mould into two neat balls, cover with flour and a tea towel and let rise again, like so many Labor leaders. You want it to almost double in size, so take an iPhone snap for reference (you can tweet it if you like). The time between now and when you want to eat will determine where you leave the dough. If you have a longer time, leave it in a cooler spot. I leave it for up to 24 hours in the fridge, which works well.

Once ready to cook, have your chosen inferno ready - a woodfired oven would be fantastic.

Roll out to two equal circles. Push your fingers into the soft dough and plonk half the grapes into these depressions. Place the second sheet of dough on top and press down to seal the edges and break up the grapes a little. Cover the top with the rest of the grapes and push them into it, smashing them a little. Pour over the extra olive oil and rosemary and some more salt flakes, and bake until golden and crisp.