Daniel Lewis and Adam Curley seek a serving of nostalgia at 10 of Melbourne's most traditional pubs.
American diners. Speakeasies. Spit-polished gastro pubs. Urban-themed warehouses. Shopfronts converted into bottle-shop/wine-bar hybrids or beer-nerd havens. Yes, Melbourne has had its share of thoughtful – and often well-executed – takes on theme, era and trend; so much so, it's easy to forget that old-fashioned dinosaurs still exist.
They are wholesome, historic and pretension-bereft watering holes that you'd frequent with your parents back in the day, where the CUB signs are actually from back-when, and the walls are actually distressed by age, not fashionably manicured to look as such. Where a steak is half the price, and chips and salad are included in the cost. Where pork belly is just another bit of meat, not held up as some sort of religious experience.
Here are 10 nostalgia-dripping pubs that are holding their own in an often fickle and restless industry:
226 Nicholson Street, Abbotsford, 9417 2693
Sun-Tues, noon-10pm; Wed-Thurs, noon-10.30pm; Fri-Sat, noon-11.30pm
Remember The Sul-livans? Nor I. It's a little before my time. But don't worry: within seconds of entering the pristinely kept watering hole where parts of it were filmed, The Retreat's owner – who exemplifies the pub's warmth and wholesomeness – will gladly fill in the gaps. You'll even be offered a potted history of the 100-year-old hotel. Aside from some necessary updates a few decades back, the pub's original character remains. The main bar is low-lit and lovingly maintained, with lead-glass windows and shelves, vintage tiled walls, antique tables, and a brass finish that has a golden glow. The beer is fresh and comes in handles; the wine list is a solid homage to our best regions; and the above-average pub fare – which can be eaten in the bar or out the back in the delightfully quaint dining room – includes hugely popular home-made pies (beef or chicken and leek) and beef burgers like your gran used to make. For extra intimacy, there's also a "snug", complete with a long plush leather couch and a fine fireplace. Some week nights are quiet, but old-world-pub lovers from the surrounding suburbs and as far away as Britain, where The Sullivans became an unlikely hit, help keep this beautiful slice of Melbourne nostalgia alive. DL
210 Napier Street, Fitzroy, 9419 4240
Mon-Thurs, 3-11pm; Fri, noon-1am; Sat, 1pm-1am; Sun, 1pm-11pm
"It's held together with duct tape," the Napier Hotel's amiable barkeep says of a small, windable, 1950s-era calendar competing for shelf space with an array of archaic paraphernalia behind the bar, "much like the rest of this place." He's being a little harsh; Fitzroy's iconic backstreet pub holds up pretty well – worn-out floorboards and all – despite undergoing very little on the facelift front, as another staffer jokes, "since 1866" (its birth year). Blinds and lead-glass windows give the small main bar a grungy Fitzroy dimness that's offset by 1980s neon lights and pop-up art above a cramped service area. Pressed-tin walls abound. Indeed, the space is all about recollection, particularly if you have an affinity with the 17-years-defunct Fitzroy Football Club. But the Napier's whole is greater than the sum of its parts. There's a lavish two-room dining section that once existed as a "ladies" lounge, while a separate outhouse, complete with a dark-wood communal table and a cracking little fireplace, is popular with families and large groups. There's a narrow beer garden and the strong local brew representation includes Cricketers Arms Lager and Moo Brew Pale Ale. The much-lauded menu is headlined by the "hangover-curing" – I suspect hangover-worsening – "Bogan Burger": an imposing tower of steak, chicken, bacon, pineapple and salad. Happy days. DL
225 Nicholson Street, East Brunswick, 9380 1752
Mon-Sat, 10am-late; Sun, 11am-late
Even before learning that it was established in 1888 and entering the 1970s-throwback main bar (saloon-style door; lead-glass windows; uneven dark-brown carpet; grand piano), you can tell the place has a few stories to tell. And, indeed, there are a few being told among the small, eclectic group seated at the bar on this particular Saturday afternoon: think old men in paddy hats, musos in no-name woollen tops, and smiling, life-weary boozers. A country song (I think the southern-twanged singer is lamenting the perils of progress) has a table of locals at one of a dozen "classic pub" dining tables subtly tapping their feet. Renowned for its local live music – blues and roots, alt-country – the place kicks up a notch most nights. The beer list takes in the usual suspects while also catering to a younger demographic with crossover labels such as White Rabbit. The bistro area, with homely brick walls and a fresh lick of paint, is a little more spruced up, its menu favouring old-time dishes such as rabbit and bacon pie and crumbed fish, while the compact, ageing-brick TAB – complete with fireplace – is a gem. DL
269 Spring Street, city, 9663 5078
Opens Mon-Fri, 11am; closure varies on trade, but midnight on Fri
Although The Elms was established in 1850 (yes, it was standing during the gold rush and it's older than Parliament House), this glass-fronted "country pub in the city" remains something of a hidden gem among the corporate blocks. Run by the same family for near-on three decades, it's a step back in time. White-painted timber panelling frames the long, angular bar, where several beer taps, a fake timber-grain spirit dispenser and '70s-era VB fridge are situated. The ever-trusty Carlton Draught-Nobby's bar snack combination is pleasing in its prominence, while time-honoured ornaments – blue CUB clock, "space" heater, bookshelf – are dotted around the place. While older, known-by-name locals chiefly prop up the bar during the week, the place fairly heaves on Fridays, when the city's tradesmen and workers kick-start their weekend. "Called in to do my footy tips – and that was two hours ago," is a familiar lament. It's the sort of place where everyone – whether in the main bar, the wall-tiled dining room or the viney courtyard out the back – sports a "feel-at-home" smile. Gets you thinking: the good-pub formula – fresh beer, honest pub grub (the chicken schnitzel with chips and gravy is a winner), and a warm, welcoming atmosphere – it's not difficult, is it? DL
204-208 King Street, city, 9670 4389
Mon, Tues, 10am-9pm; Wed, 10am-9.30pm; Thurs, 10am-10pm; Fri, 10am-late; Sat, 11am-6.30pm
The first thing you notice on entering the Great Western is its bare simplicity: instead of being confronted with beer taps of assorted colours and animal representations, as so many modern-era upstarts have, there's one simple option: heavy or light. (A token Bulmers pump is almost hidden in a corner.) But this deliberately minimalist approach (as in, they haven't changed it in decades) suffices; the Carlton Draught is crisp and fresh, indicative of a seasoned approach to managing beer lines.
Electronic TAB screens aside, you suspect the place looked no different in the '80s (or the '70s, or '60s), with its long, beer-mat-covered wooden bar that services two spotless rooms and nondescript patterned carpet dotted with simple two-level tables and bar stools.
The classic counter-meal selection will also have you feeling stuck in a time warp: the most expensive item is $20. More modern – and frequented by a younger crowd – is the covered (and heated or fanned, depending on the season) courtyard out the back. Loved by city workers, footy-heads and folks taken to nostalgia, this King Street mainstay continues merrily doing the simple things exceedingly well. DL
418 Lygon Street, Carlton, 9347 1715
Mon-Fri, 11am-midnight; Sat, noon-1am; Sun, noon-11pm
Pushing open the door of Percy's is like entering a time warp. The fortress-like bar is lined with silver-haired men discussing the merits and follies of Whitlam. On the wall, a photo mural documents a meeting between the Carlton Football Club and a very young, wing-eared Prince Charles.
A blackboard advertises dinner specials: a rump steak and a pot for $15. The window of an old vending machine displays small tins of roasted nuts. The conversation switches to the origins of television, to football, but returns repeatedly to the same question: "What was his name?" Indeed, this fixture on the corner of Elgin and Lygon hasn't changed much since ... well, it hasn't changed much. It certainly hasn't been "trendified", as the young bartender puts it as he holds up a seven-ounce glass to prove his point.
And while Percy's can be accused of being the variety of "old-man pub" where regulars are called by name, its lack of pretension and its old-school prices also draw students similarly eager to perch at the bar and swig bottles of VB purchased for a single pink note. AC
85 Auburn Road, Hawthorn, geebung.com
Mon-Sat, noon-midnight; Sun, noon-11pm
Like the grand Victorian-era pubs of old Blighty, there's practicality to the regal elegance of the Geebung Polo Club, known for hosting rowdy Sunday sessions since it changed its name from the Auburn Hotel back in the 1880s. The building itself dates back a further decade and can't be missed; a striking monolith among the more modest businesses on Auburn Road. Though the clientele is decidedly modern, the pub has retained much of its original decor and welcoming spirit. Even before the heavy doors are swung open, visitors are met with a glass-housed display of weathered Foster's bottles, a history lesson in the brewer's branding. Inside, high ceilings and cream tiles meet heavy, dark-stained furniture and crimson carpets. A wide entrance hall leads to a separate dining room, and further to an expansive lounge peppered with fireplaces. A feature staircase, framed by thick banisters, runs to the function rooms. At the front of the pub, the major brewers dominate the taps behind the curved bar, which has kept its role as meeting point: a deep groove designed for many elbows to lean against. AC
238 Lennox Street, Richmond, thelondon.net.au
Mon-Thurs, 11am-late; Fri-Sat, 11am-midnight; Sun, 11am-11pm
Pop quiz: greatest centreline ever? If you're at the London, the answer is one of only three names: Bourke, Barrot or Clay. Yes, this is the den of Richmond's loyal followers and becomes a jungle of yellow and black on game day. Everything about the London (pictured left) serves the purpose of a large, hardy crowd ready to watch a battle. The beer garden is enormous and mostly enclosed in preparation for inclement weather, with TV screens for score checking. A cosier lounge allows for more subdued watching, while the public bar . . . well, the floor is cement and bets can be laid that a pint of two has been spilt in the heat of the moment. Ponies and handles are no longer the go, but the price of a pot of draught has resisted Richmond increases – at $4.40, no one is grimacing. It's not the only aspect of the London that scratches an itch for rugged footy pubs of yore. While other establishments boast cinema-sized screens and comfort seating, there's an atmosphere to the London Tavern that can't be bought. Lest we forget. AC
295 Johnston Street, Abbotsford 9417 0005
Mon-Thurs, 4pm-midnight; Fri-Sun, noon-1am
Back when Abbotsford was a hub for tanneries and shoemakers, the Yarra Hotel was Carlton United's flagship pub. So the tale goes. Closed in 2010 in a derelict state, the hotel was reopened in March by an all-star crew, including owners of the Napier Hotel and Brunswick's Union Hotel. Musician Mick Thomas – famed for his band Weddings Parties Anything – is among that crew and told M it was the new owners' desire to create a "good community pub" with genuine atmosphere for the growing residential population of the suburb. Part of the rejuvenation process involved getting the interior closer to its original state, removing a low false ceiling, cleaning up the plush pool room and clearing out the beer garden, which features a large brick fireplace. In the carpeted, cosy public bar, a small stage hosts local musos. There, families and rockers alike gather to listen and pick over hot wedges and fish 'n' chips. Thomas reckons that when the hotel opened in the 1850s, it would have been a series of smaller rooms. The pub is now more open-plan, but still very homely – or, as Thomas reiterated, "No bells and whistles". AC
33 Errol Street, North Melbourne, townhallhotelnorthmelbourne.com.au
Mon-Thurs, 4pm-1am; Fri-Sat, noon-1am; Sun, noon-11pm
In summer, the thatched-roof booths in the beer garden are as coveted as the jugs shared in them. In winter, tables in the heated dining room can be thieved in the time it takes to say, "Lentil shepherd's pie, please". But it's the cluttered front bar of North Melbourne's treasured Townie that holds much of the pub's ratbag history. Rock'n'roll paraphernalia lines the walls and ceiling: worn-out guitars and long-lost rock-star figurines; records from Iggy Pop and Johnny Farnham and many more lesser-knowns. The famous "Live in Japan" tour poster from 1970s teen group the Runaways greets newcomers. As the pub's website states, the Townie serves "Melbourne's working class, local folk and visitors", but it helps if those folk have an appreciation for the louder, denim-clad things in life. It's common to spot decade-long venue manager Jonny Lamar behind the bar, his frizzy mop under a cap, nodding along to a local band.
MITRE TAVERN
5-9 Bank Place, city, 9670 5644
Melbourne's oldest building (est.1837) has operated as a pub for 140 years. A lively, cottage-style laneway haunt with myriad nooks and crannies. Great steak and a vast beer garden and brew selection.
THE DUKE
146 Flinders Street, city, dukeofwellington.com.au
Licensed in 1853, the corner building is now dwarfed by surrounding apartment and office blocks. The renovated bar is minimal and bright, offering 19 local and imported beers on tap.
ROCHESTER CASTLE HOTEL,
202 Johnston Street, Fitzroy, rochestercastlehotel.com.au
Dating to 1851, the Rochy now attracts a trendy student crowd scoffing parmas and dancing to indie hits. Does that make its gold-rush patrons the original hipsters?
MONA CASTLE
53 Austin Street, Seddon, 9687 7636
As gentrification swamps the western suburbs, it's a case of "as you were" at this 140-year-old watering hole. Nestled in a quiet Seddon street, the Mona's classic pub menu and relaxed vibe proves that newer isn't necessarily better.
CLARE CASTLE
354 Graham Street, Port Melbourne, 9646 4588
Cut through Port Melbourne's back streets to experience the old-school charm of this historic former wharfies' pub. Try one of the city's best Carlton Draughts in a pony-size glass.