To tip or not to tip? And then, how much?

I understand that a tip of about 10 per cent is the norm when dining out in this country. Is that still the case when ordering particularly expensive wines? For example, if the food component of my bill is $200 and the bottle of wine is $600 should I be tipping close to $80? Or, since so much of the total is wine, is it acceptable to tip less?

Don't mind me, I'm just going to hide under the table for an hour or three. I'm hoping to dodge the spray of spittle-flecked invective that flies between embittered customers and battle-hardened waitstaff whenever the word "tipping" appears in print.

Diners, now is the time to air your every waiter-from-hell anecdote and chant that mantra about how Australian hospitality staff shouldn't expect more just for doing their jobs. Hospitality types, this is the bit where you point to those tables that order off-menu, change the order three times, click their fingers, spill their drinks, announce that they're gluten-free only after the souffle arrives, split the bill six ways, forget their coats and have to be chased down the street - and think the honour of serving them is reward enough. OK, is it safe to come out?

The answer to your question, as with so many others, is "it depends". Most of the time, I (and most people with whom I dine out) tip a percentage of the bottom line, wine included. But I'm not in the habit of ordering $600 bottles, so I've had to ask around. The consensus seems to be that in the situation you describe, extremely wealthy customers will tip lavishly regardless of the food-wine breakdown. But the tip left by a wine tragic whose net worth is somewhere north of well-heeled but south of Bill Gates is more likely to add up to about 10 per cent for food and maybe 5 per cent for wine.

Your tip is probably also going to reflect how you felt about your meal and service; how much decanting and polishing of special glasses and general palaver went with the ordering of the extravagant bottle; and how much care and performance went into serving previous glasses or bottles.

In summary, there's no hard-and-fast rule. But if you're doing well enough in life to order a $600 bottle of wine, I'd suggest you're flush enough to spread a little sunshine among the staff who serve it.