Bar:30

Sometimes you just want a big, fat drink. Something yummy, something alcoholic, something a bit special to say a big, fat goodbye to the working week. This hotel bar might be just the place.

THE COCKTAIL MENU DOESN'T LOOK TOO PROMISING, it's all frumpy old faves like Frozen Margarita, Midori Splice and Pina Colada but don't be perturbed. A polite waitress whips up two of the most hilarious novelty cocktails I've seen since Club Med Fiji, circa 1999. The Passionfruit Mojito (Alize Gold Passion, lime, mint, passionfruit pulp, soda, $16) is in a glass the size of a vase with two big straws. The Cookies & Cream (Mozart chocolate liqueur, Creme de Cacao, cream, Oreos, $16) is in a gargantuan brandy glass with half an Oreo smooshed on the outside. Even better, they taste pretty good. The passionfruit is fresh and tangy. The Cookies & Cream doesn't taste very alcoholic but it's a sweet-tooth's dream - all chocolaty, milky and smoothly blended bikkies. My rather unsophisticated companion says it's the best cocktail he's had.

COCKTAIL SNOBS WOULD GASP at the sight of them but if they taste and look good and you're getting about three cocktails in each glass, who cares? We have another giggle at the next round - this time an After Dinner Mint (Creme de Cacao, Creme de Menthe, chocolate sauce, mint slice biscuits, $16, pictured) in a champagne saucer the width of a frying pan and a Bella (raspberry vodka, Creme de Cassis, lemon, Red Bull, cranberry juice, fresh strawberries, watermelon, $16) which is surprisingly subdued. One gripe however: with only one bartender, expect a good 10-minute wait for your drinks.

THE DECOR IS TRYING HARD to be suave and sophisticated like the high-rise hotel where it is housed. Green and purple chairs with sharp lines contrast a trio of soft, industrial-chic chandeliers. Complimentary olives and nuts come on sleek, charcoal-coloured ceramic. The bar is long and sumptuous. Most of this vibe is undone when the footy is switched on the plasma screen. The fact we're essentially in the hotel lobby gives the bar a flat feeling. Sadly, the only time there's a bit of buzz is when the Rabbitohs score consecutive tries.

WE APPEAR TO BE THE ONLY ONES settling in for the night as we order some food. The charcuterie ($15.50) is nothing to write home about - the bresaola and jamon iberico are flavourless - but the tandoori skewers with mint yoghurt ($12.50) are tender and spicy. The pepperoni pizza with artichoke, roasted pepper, olives and pesto is a bit of a cheese-fest but good nonetheless while the cannoli with orange mascarpone ($7.50) is bland.

THE WINES GET A LOOK IN with a couple of decent drops like the Saint Clair pinot noir ($11.50) and Masi Levarie soave garganega ($12) but really, it's about those lairy cocktails and a bit of frivolity to farewell the week.

YOU'LL LOVE IT IF you want some silly, fun drinks.
YOU'LL HATE IT IF this is your only destination for the night.
GO FOR cocktails, tandoori skewers.
IT'LL COST YOU cocktails $16, wine by the glass $6.50-$12, bar food $6-$15.50.