The Cliff Dive

The Mary's kebabs have gone.

I know, right? Burger blokes Kenny Graham and Jake Smyth were meant to save us all from meat-on-meat pizza, Mrs Mac's sausage rolls and death by Mr Crackles. But they've left us and it's once more to Hungry Jacks for Oxford Street booze ballast.

Cliff Dive co-owner Jeremy Blackmore says the Jake and Kenny One Stop Kebab Shop was intended only to be a short-term thing anyway (I'm as over writing the term "pop-up" as you are reading it). Due to other commitments (such as getting swamped at their burger joints) the duo have switched off the vertical rotisserie for now but everyone's still mates and hope to collaborate again in the future.

If you never got to try a Mary's kebab, that sucks, buddy. The chicken, liver and heart number left every other late-night snack block for dead and like any good kebab, the more you had imbibed, the better it would taste (as a side, my favourite kebab store in Sydney will always be Fully Tabooly at Greystanes if only because its loyalty card lists tasks, including "apply for Centrelink, even if employed" that you are encouraged to complete before earning a free kebab. The chilli and walnut sauce is also very good).

Anyway, where were we? Yes. Cliff Dive. Now. In the present. Without kebabs.

It's still awesome.

Massive props to Blackmore and business partner Alex Dowd for continuing to give it their all. When the Band-Aid solution lock-out rule came into effect last year, it resulted in a 20 to 25 per cent decline in business for Cliff Dive, a basement bar famous for its post-2am knees-ups. Blackmore and Dowd have been rocking initiatives since like a skewer-themed tuck shop and the Mary's kebabs in an effort to get revellers through the door and keep them there.

At the time of writing the main food offering is a Smith Chips degustation (more commonly known as a Party Pack).

The cocktails are insane. Bad day at the office? What you need is drink served in a monkey wearing a hat with bendy straws, fruit and peacock exploding out of the top. Enter The Monkey Hat ($25), a head-blowing mix of house-spiced Bacardi, Aperol, passionfruit and lime. Look at its stupid face. Look at it! Everything's going to be OK.

Don The Beachcomber's Zombie ($22) sees Bacardi, Appleton, Falernum, Pernod, grenadine and citrus poured over ice into something that looks like an Easter Island statue crossed with a muppet. It's the kind of thing that makes you want to fly to Samoa and play quoits. Ditto a pina colada ($21) in a hollowed pineapple that's so good I catch myself humming Jimmy Buffett and want to punch myself in the face for doing so.

There are  a few decent craft beers available (including brews from Founders, 8 Wired, Mikkeller and Dugges), but South Pacific lager tinnies from Papua New Guinea are $7 and given that the joint is PNG-themed party basement, ordering anything else seems silly.

Yeah, PNG-themed. This means tribal paintings, a festive canoe, bobbing jellyfish, lots of woven things and a ceiling of glowing fish that makes you feel like you've been sown into a pair of mid-'90s Mambo board shorts.

It's a tiki bar, yeah, but if you're rockabilly fatigue is at a level similar to the rest of Sydney (that is: high) don't let thoughts of it being filled with blokes in selvedge dungarees and girls caked in blush deter you. It's not that kind of tiki bar.

Similarly, if you're prone to the odd vintage fare , you may be upset to find this is a kitsch dancehall that doesn't have Elvis' Aloha from Hawaii on repeat. Music shifts between tropical bass (not exactly sure what this is), FBi-friendly indie, dub (is this not the same as tropical bass?), Latin heat, twerk (definitely not sure what this is) and hip-hop and the dancefloor is bonkers on the weekend.

Do rockabillies hate being called rockabillies in the same way foodies hate being called foodies? I assume so. I think we all hate being locked out of bars and pubs after 1:30am though, so big thanks to Cliff Dive for being a place you want to be locked in to.

THE LOW-DOWN
Go for … rum cocktails served in ridiculous cups.
Stay for …  more rum cocktails served in even more ridiculous cups.
Drink … the Monkey Hat.
And … there's a brill selection of global rums available by the nip. Did I mention this place serves rum?