13/20

The Meatball and Wine Bar

105 Swan Street, Richmond,

All Details
The Meatball and Wine Bar's rugged good looks.
The Meatball and Wine Bar's rugged good looks. Photo: Eddie Jim

Roslyn Grundy

Somewhere, surely, economists are studying the correlation between meatball consumption and consumer confidence. Polpette, kofte, faggots, frikadeller, rissoles - call them what you will, but in tough times, people crave comfort and nostalgia. And nothing ticks the boxes better than meatballs.

A year ago, film and TV producer Matteo Bruno punted on a meatball-led recovery, opening the Meatball and Wine Bar in Flinders Lane. It's his Down Under take on the Meatball Shop, a chain of restaurants that has gone, well, ballistic in New York City.

Bruno's second outlet, in Richmond, opened in May and negotiations are under way for a third in Windsor.

Go-to dish: Pork meatballs with polenta.
Go-to dish: Pork meatballs with polenta. Photo: Eddie Jim

The Swan Street iteration, which Bruno dubs ''RichBalls'', takes over the corner site previously occupied by Bess. It shares the rugged good looks of the city M&WB, with pale walls hung with wine racks, seating at a combination of banquettes, bistro chairs and high stools, and chequerboard floors. Decorative touches include the seemingly obligatory butcher's diagram dividing a steer into cuts and a neon sign declaring "I'm a baller, baby".

"Ball" puns are endemic, from the menu offering "something for your balls to sit on", to cheeky banter from waiters. If you're a diner with delicate sensibilities: wrong way, go back.

But I'm made of sterner stuff. Lobbing at RichBalls with two teenagers in train, I'm met by a staff member who says tersely: ''The wait will be an hour and a half.'' But we're willing to sit at that empty table outside, I squeak. ''No, it's been raining and it wouldn't be comfortable.'' End of story.

Crestfallen, we head elsewhere. But returning to the car an hour later, we can't help but notice a group happily carousing at the same apparently uncomfortable table. Huh?

(Later, I learn they have an over-18s policy because ''we're a wine bar… loud music with sometimes offensive language playing and… prams are a trip hazard for staff''.)

I'm back the next night, sans enfants, and the welcome's warmer. There's a short wait, I'm told, but we'll take your name and number and call you when the table's free. I lurk outside, watching people in football scarves streaming towards the MCG and others swimming against the tide, entering RichBalls and exiting a minute later, rueing the length of the waiting list.

But 20 minutes later, I'm at a corner table surrounded by shiny, happy and frankly rowdy thirtysomethings, a waiter at my elbow offering to run me though the concept.

It's pretty simple. I'm almost certain I could figure it out by reading the menu. But it's part of the theatre to let staff rehearse their lines. He explains there are charcuterie and cheese boards, then we can choose one of five kinds of balls, a sauce (red, white or green) and ''something to rest your balls on''.

Charcuterie - capocollo, fennel salami, truffle salami and prosciutto - comes arranged on a board with batons of focaccia, and a "Booze" list offers a short, likeable selection of Italian wines, cocktails and digestives.

But we're here for the balls. From pork, beef, chicken, fish and vegetable, we've picked pork meatballs with creamy polenta and red (Italian tomato) sauce, and chicken meatballs with ''Super MB potato smash'' and green sauce (pesto). On each dish, three orbs just bigger than golf balls nestle on starchy bases, draped with sauce and speckled with grated parmesan. The pork balls, made with finely minced Kurobuta meat, according to the menu, are gently lifted by a touch of sage, fennel seed and orange rind.

The Lilydale free-range chicken balls are flavoured with pistachio, parmesan and muscatels, plated on a chunky mash and generously daubed with garlicky pesto. They're excellent. Conversation slows to a satisfied murmur. It's comfort by the bowlful.

A side of finely sliced fennel with orange and caramelised honey walnuts is the only disappointment, although the lack of dressing and scantness of the orange pieces render it merely meh, rather than awful. I'm sated but greedily proceed to dessert. Like the NY original, customised ice-cream sandwiches (or whoopie macs, as they're known) provide the finale. Choose a biscuit, choose an ice-cream, and dessert's up. The shortbread-like ginger biscuits are a touch soft but the house-made caramel ice-cream is agreeably luscious. Across the table, my friend is wishing he'd been braver: the seed-flecked vanilla ice-cream provides too little flavour contrast to the crisp pistachio meringue biscuits.

Rollicking, good value and on-trend, Meatball and Wine Bar delivers Gen-Y appeal in spades. Trust me, if you fit the demographic, you'll have a ball.

THE LOW-DOWN
The best bit
The meatballs
The worst bit The over-18s policy
Go-to dish
Pork meatballs with pesto on creamy polenta

Roslyn Grundy is co-editor of The Age Good Food Guide 2014.

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105 Swan Street, Richmond,

  • Cuisine - Italian
  • Prices - Typical entree $24; main $18; dessert $11.50
  • Features - Gluten-free options, Outdoor seating, Licensed
  • Chef(s) - Brendon Jones, Pat Chitdi
  • Owners - Matteo Bruno
  • Cards accepted - AMEX, Mastercard, Visa, EFTPOS
  • Opening Hours - Mon-Fri, 11am-late, Sat-Sat, 8am-late
  • Other Branches - 135 Flinders Lane, Melbourne, 03 9654 7545
  • Author - Roslyn Grundy
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7 comments so far

  • This place is so Melbourne ... it takes a great, global, fast, cheap and fun food idea like meatballs (or should i say blatantly rips it off)... and KILLS IT with absurd prices ($16 for three meatballs?), absurdly expensive drinks and all around pretentiousness. Just like Mexican. Its a good, cheap, casual and fun cuisine to eat in the rest of the world. In Melbourne, insufferably expensive and pretentious. Expensive gourmet beers and expensive tacos is the opposite of the reason why most people in the world eat mexican. Get your hand off it Melbourne.

    Commenter
    JimD
    Location
    CBD
    Date and time
    September 17, 2013, 12:28PM
    • Kara and JimD, you are both spot on. Take a simple food and charge the cashed-up bogans of Richmond a bucket load and they'll queue for hours, tingling at the thought of being "in the know." Anyplace where pretentious 12 year old waitstaff treat me with contempt doesn't get a second chance.

      Commenter
      dan
      Location
      Brunx
      Date and time
      September 17, 2013, 2:21PM
  • Wow, sounds absolutely dreadful. I've searched a few other reviews now, too and even though the concept sounded good to me, the reviews indicate a lot of pretense and attitude from the venue. Thanks for the heads up, I will not be trying this grotesque-sounding place.

    Commenter
    Kara
    Location
    St Kilda
    Date and time
    September 17, 2013, 1:04PM
  • "run me though the concept"
    What? Look at menu, order food, eat, pay, leave.

    You can keep your pretentious nonsense and save it for people who go to restaurants to be seen as opposed to eat good food.

    Commenter
    llanelliboy
    Location
    Hawthorn
    Date and time
    September 17, 2013, 1:53PM
  • The food is amazing and I'm glad the staff keep the riff-raff away . .

    Commenter
    zecc
    Location
    The Ritz
    Date and time
    September 17, 2013, 2:45PM
  • I agree with you Zecc... I like the place and don't mind if the likes of JimD are not sitting on the table next to me complaining about the beers.

    Commenter
    GDee
    Location
    CBD
    Date and time
    September 17, 2013, 4:41PM
  • I love the idea of meatballs, but taking something that is clearly meant to be a fun, casual and no frills concept and turning it into fine dining isn't the way to go. Either Melburnians have too much money to spend or they have poor taste in what makes good food.
    I might give it a try one day, I usually give cafes and restaurants the benefit of a doubt, and I don't mind paying for good food, but its so blatantly overcharging you for an 'idea' than for food, I'm not sure if it would be worth it.
    There are meatball stores in the U.S which do only meatball dishes (meatballs on rice, bread, pasta, subs, etc) and they are casual, laid back, friendly, buzzing and the staff are incredibly friendly. Not to mention incredibly delicious and affordable food. I'm not talking canteen prices but they give good portions at good prices, great to hang out with friends.
    I think restauranters should have a look at those kind of themes and think about how to make it uniquely Melbourne - certainly not turn it into some poncy affair. Its silly, turning street food/home cooking into a 15 course degustation.

    Commenter
    Green Tea
    Location
    Melbourne
    Date and time
    September 18, 2013, 10:33AM

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