When truffles go from gourmet to gimmick

COMMENT

A little truffle goes a long way, writes Callan Boys.

Sydney, we need to put an end to truffle abuse. Truffle degustations at places such as Rockpool or Bistro Vue, where the fungus is put in the hands of chefs who know what they're doing, they're fine. That's not abuse, that's celebration of this local winter delicacy.

Microplaning a perigord on instant noodles or a mountain of fries, that's also sweet. I like an expensive cheap laugh as much as the next person. Like making a Coke and Grange cocktail or putting caviar on fairy bread.

What I am talking about here is that chewing-with-your-mouth open, hashtag-food-porn, "nom nom nom" throwaway abuse where the truffle plays the part of attention-seeking gimmick.

Like at the cafe in the back streets of Waterloo serving a truffle soft serve with truffle honey and truffle salt flakes, topped with truffle shavings. Or the food trucks and "gastropubs" (a terrible term, yes) across the country who whip out limited-edition truffle burgers each winter. Or, as truffle become easier to source, the increased frequency of items such as truffle popcorn, truffle croquembouche and truffle jaffles.

After it's been mandolined to within an inch of its life over scrambled eggs at a bog-standard cafe, I imagine the truffle returning its fungi mates and bemoaning such treatment.

"They say they love me, but they do show eet," says the abused French perigord, slumped against the wall of bell jar and drawing heavily on cigarette. "Night after night, I dance for them, I give them my everything, and what do I get in return? Notheeng! Those radish strumpets are mandolined with more respect than me!"

A fresh truffle should be treated with care, with caution, and with love. A little bit goes a long way and a sliver on buttered shellfish or chicken ballotine is as complex as things need to get.

By the way, I haven't addressed the overuse of truffle oil here because truffle oil is the product of witchcraft and should not be used by anyone, ever. The only thing worse that truffle oil is the black truffle spray-can that is also a sign of the forthcoming apocalypse.