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Ten food and drink trends that need to stop in 2015

For every annoying food trend that ends, another two replace it. Here's our 2015 hit list. By Callan Boys.

Callan Boys
Callan Boys

Beer tasting paddles: Why not just buy a pint?
Beer tasting paddles: Why not just buy a pint?Rebecca Hallas

COMMENT

Annoying food and drink trends are the Hydras of hospitality. For every one that dies, two more rise to take its place.

Macarons and mason jars were two of the food trends spotlighted in our 2014 list – they're still with us but the tide is turning. Also included were salted caramel (still with us), faux American diner food (also still with us), and inappropriate use of quinoa (definitely still with us – it's in vodka now).

Creepy: Dessert syringes.
Creepy: Dessert syringes.Eddie Jim
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Here are 10 more trends for 2015.

Kale in everything

We have definitely reached peak kale. It was a perfectly fine vegetable, great with a bit of olive oil, chilli, and garlic, and then someone had to go and make a juice out of it.

Kale - enough already.
Kale - enough already.Supplied

Replace the word "shrimp" with "kale" in Bubba's Forrest Gump monologue and it's pretty much where we're at.

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"There's kale kebabs, kale creole, and kale gumbo. It's pan-fried, deep-fried, stir-fried. There's pineapple kale, lemon kale, coconut kale, pepper kale. Kale soup, kale stew, kale salad, kale and potatoes, kale burgers, and kale sandwiches."

Bubba forgot to mention shrimp chips.

Ice-cream toppings in syringes

Hey dessert gurus, you know a lot of people have a phobia of syringes, right? Why not go all the way by sprinkling your gelato with spiders and serving it in a clown mask?

I don't have a needle phobia but injecting something with a plastic syringe of caramel is an irksome experience at best.

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Deconstructed dishes

To quote a colleague: "It's akin to a builder presenting you with a pile of bricks and saying 'There! Live in it'."

Natural-wine-heavy wine lists

Natural plonk can be amazing stuff. Live-wire, uncensored, breakfast juice of the gods. But, sometimes I want the option of a rich, buttery chardonnay not a fizzy, sickly looking cider that's the idea of chardonnay. And if I'm eating a big steak, goddammit if I don't want a big, Barossa shiraz to match it.

Bad Instagramming

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Which is anytime the camera's flash is used. If you're using a flash around other diners, not only are you inconsiderate, you are a terrible photographer to boot.

I have no issue with taking pictures of lobster rolls or cronuts or whatever it is this week for social networking purposes. I do have issue with terrible photos that do no service to the dish, chef, and restaurant and most of these result from flash use.

And since we're discussing "the 'Gram", the "foodporn" hashtag has to go. And also the emoji with love hearts for eyes. And the other one with face stigmata that's just plain weird. These aren't methods of communication, they're the reading level of a two-year old.

Bad American barbecue

The kind of dedicated pitmaster who rocks up to work at 10pm each night to get the applewood smoking for the next day's is brisket is good barbecue bloke.

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A pub chef putting a slab of beef in a gas oven for three hours and calling it American barbecue gives a bad name and taste to barbecue in Australia.

Burger joints

Are we there yet?

Avocado on sourdough

How is it that a bakery can sell a whole loaf of bread for $7, a whole avocado next door costs $3, but smashed avocado on two slices of toast sets me back $13?

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Tasting paddles

Just buy a pint, mate.

Insects

I've had a some great dishes topped with ants and crickets, but they probably would have been just as delicious without a grasshopper garnish.

For the most part, insects have little to no taste and need a heaving spice dusting to become edible. Anyone who thinks eating bugs is the only way to save us from the apocalypse needs to put down the Kool-Aid and step away slowly.

Callan BoysCallan Boys is editor of SMH Good Food Guide, restaurant critic for Good Weekend and Good Food writer.

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