Top ten food moments in film

A. A. Gill once remarked that most food writing is akin to watching someone eat with their mouth open. The same can be said about food-centred films which are often obese, self-indulgent, bits of toff (think Babette's Feast, La Grande Bouffe, Chocolat, any adaptation of Titus Andronicus). There are, however, some great food moments to be had across all genres of The Talkies and these are my favourite 10*.

Hook, Food Fight!

I had a swell collection of Hook action figures as a kid, but the one toy I could never get my mitts on was Food Fight Peter Pan™. Turns out that months of scouring the Uncle Pete's of the eastern seaboard were a lost boy's cause since the figure never existed on our shores. Technically, the food in this scene doesn't exist either, but no matter. There's some Hallmarkian Spielberg nonsense about the power of the imagination over poverty or something but in the end it's a just really sweet food fight. Why the food looks like Physical Challenge left-overs from Double Dare I have no idea.

Amelie, creme brulee

This whole list could be Amelie food moments (raspberry fingers, grain fondling, chicken carcass picking et al) but the one bit that resonates more than any other is the cracking of the creme brulee – the culinary equivalent of popping bubble wrap.

Ratatouille, Remy combines cheese and strawberries

As mentioned, most food centred films are drivel. Ratatouille is an exception to this rule. Growing up I'd eat my way around the plate one pea and carrot at a time – never daring to combine food lest my sausage tarnish my corn cob. When Remy the rat discovers the amazement on combining flavours, the gods at Pixar capture the moment brilliantly by using modernist fireworks and some funky Burt Bacharach love-boat music. Remember the time you first had chicken salt on chips? This is that time.

Lady and the Tramp, spaghetti kiss

Boil it down and this is two dogs kissing and eating meatballs. Boil it down further and it's a scene that hammers home the might of the restaurant: that no matter the background, wallet or scruffiness, great hospitality can make anyone feel like a King Charles Cavalier for the day. It's also incredibly romantic.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, chilled monkey brains

“Ah, dessert!” Kate Capshaw gets a hard time in nerd circles for her role as Willie Scott in Indy 2, though most of that resentment comes from the fact that she isn't half as brilliant as Karen Allen in Raiders of the Lost Ark. Whatever, etc – as far as prop-comedy-sight-gag-fainting goes, Capshaw is a bona fide pro.

Jaws, “You're gonna need a bigger boat.”

Hey look, it's another Spielberg film in the list! What can I say? The Beard knows food. No one in the history of anything is cooler than Roy Scheider, so this scene of Roy Scheider hanging a dart out his mouth and dishing chump to surprise sharks is the pinnacle of everything ever.

Back to the Future II, dehydrated pizza

Dear The Present,

Where are my following items?

1. Hoverboards.
2. Jaws holograms.
3. Flying cars.
4. Miniature half 'n' half pizzas that quadruple in size when hydrated.
5. Hoverboards (This cannot be emphasised enough).

You have about a year and a half to get your priorities in order.

Best,

C.

Spinal Tap, backstage catering woes

The trouble Nigel Tufnel experiences attempting to bifold meat upon bread smaller than said meat is not only one of the funniest bits of footage put to film, it is also a scene that garners a knowing nod from anyone who has ever had to deal with ridiculous canapes (i.e. everyone). If you are reading this and happen to be a crostini stick and happen to be getting self-conscious, then good.

Annie Hall, Woody Allen cooks lobster

Men: this is a reminder to always cook food with your girlfriend that's way out of your league. Women love seeing a man cooking something they have no idea about, if only for the effort involved. What are you going to do? Toast her a jaffle? Pfft.

Hot Shots, breakfast fry-up

Remember when Charlie Sheen was awesome? I do. It was yesterday. He was even more awesome in 1991 as loose cannon Topper Harley, frying eggs and bacon on his missus' stomach. He also catapults an olive from navel to mouth. #winning.

*This is by no means a definitive list and I would like to give my apologies to Eat Drink Man Woman, Cool Hand Luke and Last Tango in Paris.

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