Is St James Crabhouse worth a crack?

For all the wonderful, slimy, scaly, shelly things that live in Australian waters, and all our thong-thwacking, back-slapping, prawn-peeling bravado, there's a lack of properly good seafood shacks on the east coast.

Places to wear Double Dragon pluggers and knock back local lobster, oysters and crab with Cold Chisel and beer. The closest thing in Brisbane is St James Crabhouse and Kitchen which isn't that close at all.

Brisbane lawyer Gideon James opened St James in April. It's a chip's throw from the Story Bridge and has views of an apartment block that looks like every other Kangaroo Point apartment block. Inside, there's designer graffiti and upcoming gig posters. A neon sign provides unflattering light to all who bask in its reddy-pink glow.

It's a big menu for a small kitchen, listing burgers, steaks, ribs, chicken, onion rings, poppers and something called "Captain Cheng's pork belly croutons". You're here for the crustacean "catch" though, boiled and served by the two kilogram bag with your choice of sauce.

Obviously, you need to order crab. There's Alaskan king (market price), Alaskan snow ($48), Jonah crab claws ($36) and Australian blue swimmer ($36). We opt for a bag of blues in the "Baltimore" sauce of Old Bay, garlic and butter. The crabs are sweet, the sauce is rich, and it's a whole lot of messy fun to play seafood surgeon with the utensils provided. There's a baguette on the side to soak up the aftermath. Everything is in its right place.

Pan-seared Moreton Bay bugs ($40) from the specials board are fine bits of gear, removed from the heat before the meat tightens up. It's a shame their "New Orleans" sauce is too sharp with Cajun and curry flavours overpowering the natural buggy taste. (Case note: the bugs I had at Esq. in November are the best I've had all year. Caught the night before and cooked over hardwood, they never once saw a freezer. Sweet Christmas, could you taste the difference.)

Use the bibs provided, friends. Sure, you'll look like you're on a netball reserve bench, but it beats getting covered in crab shell. At one point, half a blue swimmer claw launches out of my hand as I'm cracking it, and into my partner's hair. It makes her look like a mermaid with hygiene issues.

Most of the non-crustacean menu items we try aren't much chop. An American-style cheese burger ($13) is the pick of the bunch, a stocky little stodger which you can hold in one hand while the other nurses an Asahi ($7). Meanwhile, a New York striploin of Cape Grim beef had a dip in a sous vide bath before being finished on the grill, resulting in a texture that's dull and limp-wristed instead of meaty and proud.

A heavily dressed house salad isn't worth the $7. It's all mixed leaves and seeds decorated with two sticks of cucumber and two cherry tomatoes. However, it's still better value than a sauce on the side. $2 for "Siracha (sic)"? Try pulling that in Sunnybank.

There's a not-too-heavy, not-too-light New York cheesecake ($15) that is worth the price tag though, even if it is made off-site and the friendly waiter couldn't tell me exactly where ("Um, Sydney. I think").

I'll return to St James again. I really like crab and Old Bay seasoning. I'll also keep waiting for my dream crabshack to open. Somewhere showcasing fresh Australian seafood without a deep-fryer or sous vide bath in sight. Thongs and board shorts remain at the ready.