MasterChef recap: Things get cray-cray in Apollo Bay with lobster doughnuts and Minoli's aioli
This is Road Trip Week, which means the MasterChef gang are going to some places that aren't the usual place they are in, but are different places, and in these different places they will cook things. Got it? Good.
Today they are in Apollo Bay, named after Apollo, the Greek god of crayfish. After Andy fulfils his contractual obligation to refer to the region as "one of Australia's most spectacular coastlines", he then explains that Apollo Bay is the southern rock lobster – or crayfish – capital of Australia. Although it is only the administrative capital: the southern rock lobster legislature is in Lorne.
Suddenly a boat arrives. "It feels like a movie set we're on," says Kishwar, who has watched a lot of movies about people standing on a pier watching a small boat with a sad-looking bald man on it slowly come towards them. On the boat is a bunch of crayfish. Jock shows everyone the right way to dismember an innocent rock lobster. He shows them the "lobster tripe", so called because it resembles…tripe. He holds the tripe up and says, "Isn't that beautiful?" "Yes," everyone lies. He goes on to show them the ovaries, the stomach, and basically all the parts of the crayfish that you'd want to see if you were a serial killer.
Today the amateurs must cook two dishes in teams of two: one dish that is familiar and one that is inventive, but both made with the humble and revolting crayfish.
Teams are selected. Immediately a fierce rivalry is obvious between the team of Tommy and Kishwar and the team of Sabina and Minoli, to determine which team is the most adorable. Meanwhile Scott and Brent have teamed up, with Scott getting to work on making some linguine for Brent to hurl against the wall in a rage.
The teams are cooking on the Apollo Bay waterfront, and are under pressure because they have to finish both dishes before the angry crowd of locals, who don't take kindly to big-city types, arrives to throw them into the sea.
On the navy blue team, Amir muses, "When I think of crayfish, I think of different things". It's this depth of insight that will serve him well. Unfortunately his teammate Linda has decided to make a tripe salad, because she wants nothing but to hurt others.
On the grey team, Elise is also cooking with tripe; apparently not realising what tripe actually is, is a common affliction among the amateurs. Jock comes by to ask Elise what she thinks she's playing at. She tells him she's making trippa alla romana but doesn't have enough tripe. Jock tells her that trippa alla romana isn't very inventive. Elise says that it's inventive because she's using lobster tripe.
Jock tells her that she's not using lobster tripe because she doesn't have enough, remember? He goes on to inform her that she doesn't want to be in the bottom two, which is helpful advice because up to then, the bottom two was what she was aiming for.
Meanwhile Tommy is making a Vietnamese dish. Sorry to drop that bombshell on you so abruptly.
Depinder is slightly nervous that her masala might overpower the flavour of the crayfish, but on the other hand who really wants the flavour of crayfish anyway? She's fine. Meanwhile Pete is doing something weird with onions while Maja does something boring with a lobster tail.
Andy and Jock visit the pink team, who seem to have lost their goddamn minds. Minoli and Sabina are making cray doughnuts. CRAY DOUGHNUTS. To be precise, cray doughnuts with OVARY AIOLI. At this stage they're barely one step short of becoming supervillains. If there's anyone in the history of the world who has ever thought "I would like a cray doughnut", they are surely institutionalised.
Disaster strikes the turquoise team as Tommy discovers shell in his patties, one of the most shameful discoveries a young man can make. "I need to do something with this, don't I?" he asks Kishwar. "You need to do something with it," replies Kishwar without looking at him, wishing he'd just leave her alone. Turquoise tension suffuses the kitchen.
The climate of Apollo Bay is becoming a problem: Melissa has to wear a big coat over her dress, which ruins everyone's day – Melissa's dresses are 80 per cent of the reason anyone watches this show. Anyway, back to "cooking", I guess.
Tommy has decided to turn his lobster patties into a lobster omelette, which is a bit weird, but nowhere near as weird as a LOBSTER DOUGHNUT.
Elsewhere, Amir actually is making linguine, which is pretty funny because of that Odd Couple joke I made earlier. Shame it's not Scott and Brent though. Actually, I haven't seen Scott and Brent for a while. I think they might've jumped on a boat and escaped.
Minoli has run into trouble with her aioli. That rhymes!
Her aioli isn't emulsifying, which I am reliably informed is something an aioli needs to do. Sabina suggests adding some creme fraiche. Then Sabina suggests adding an ice cube. Sabina is full of suggestions and it's just getting on Minoli's nerves.
"You sold us on an aioli, you better give us an aioli," says Melissa, in her chillingly menacing way.
Oh there's Scott! That's a relief.
Time is up and it's time for the judges to stuff their smug wealthy faces with crayfish. Aaron and Elise high-five. Scott and Brent touch elbows, just to make Aaron and Elise look bad. Minoli is extremely worried about her aioli.
Maja and Pete have done well: the judges adore Pete's weird onion things. "It's ethereal," says Jock, who can't believe how much the dish tastes like the princess from Neverending Story.
Elise is worried that she and Aaron have not hit the brief. She has no need to worry as she and Aaron are the teacher's pets and everyone knows it. They are going to get pantsed by the bike sheds.
Justin and Depinder have barely been seen so there's no way they're going into the elimination. Same with Brent and Scott, who have really improved their cooking since Scott moved out to live with the English sisters upstairs.
Linda was extremely concerned that she might not have been inventive enough, even though she incorporated ovaries into the vinaigrette, and if incorporating ovaries into vinaigrette isn't inventive, then I don't know why I even bother attending the Fringe Festival each year. Anyway, Amir's dish sucks and Linda's dish is boring and they're definitely up for elimination.
The pink team serves up Minoli's Aioli Folie. Sabina's familiar crayfish is slightly overcooked. The crayfish doughnuts, despite being literally blasphemy, are tasty, but the aioli has split and that's not good, according to sources familiar with the mechanics of aioli.
Finally Tommy and Kishwar. They did good. So it's Minoli and Sabina and Linda and Amir in tomorrow's elimination, which just doesn't seem fair because I quite like those guys.
Tune in tomorrow, when if there is a loving god in heaven, we will not have to hear the word "ovaries".
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