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Mince pies to festive chocolates: Christmas sweets put to the taste-test

Callan Boys
Callan Boys

Fruit mince pies: Is it Christmas without them?
Fruit mince pies: Is it Christmas without them?James Brickwood

Is it really Christmas if you haven't stained a T-shirt with fruit mince, debated the merits of panettone and eaten too many chocolate reindeer in front of the telly? No. No, it is not. Here's our guide to yuletide dessert essentials.

​Fruit mince pies

The buttery shortcrust suits cups of tea.
The buttery shortcrust suits cups of tea.James Brickwood

Coles Finest Sloe Gin Fruit Mince Pies, 385g, $6.00

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Score: 3.5/5

These British-made pies star plump sultanas in an apple-strong mix, masking any taste of the selling-point gin. The buttery shortcrust suits cups of tea; sweet-tooths will dig the sugar dusting.

Thumbs up for the starry lid.
Thumbs up for the starry lid.James Brickwood

David Jones Classic Fruit Mince Tarts, 390g $11.95

Score: 4/5

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Why must all store-bought tarts crumble into rubble after one bite? These Australian-made pies fall apart easily, but balance the fruit and spice admirably. Thumbs up for the starry lid.

Too much empty space.
Too much empty space.James Brickwood

Walkers Luxury Fruit Mince Pies, 372g, $8.95

Score: 1/5

If these are Walkers' idea of luxe, god knows what the Scottish brand's budget tarts taste like. A dry crust wraps an anaemic filling, with too much empty space between mince and lid.

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Panettone

This Milanese import would convert most panettone-haters.
This Milanese import would convert most panettone-haters.James Brickwood

BreraMilano Traditional Panettone, 1kg, $44.95

Score: 4.5/5

With a spring in its yolk-yellow dough and nice bread-to-peel ratio, this Milanese import could convert most panettone-haters. For pulling apart at the table and swiping through zabaglione.

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A firmer-than-average crumb.
A firmer-than-average crumb.James Brickwood

Loison Panettone Classico, 500g, $14.95

Score: 4/5

This. Smells. Great. Like putting your head in barrel of Sicilian oranges, sultanas and cream. A firmer-than-average crumb makes the high-rise bread easy for slicing and toasting.

Fine for the price-tag.
Fine for the price-tag.James Brickwood
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Mantovani Traditional Fruit Panettone, 750g, $6.49

Score: 2/5

For Aldi's price-tag, it's fine, but this won't get you excited about all things Christmas. Good for bread-and-butter pudding or breakfast at a pinch, but too dry to gift to anyone you like.

Chocolate gift boxes

Be wary of the price-tag.
Be wary of the price-tag.James Brickwood
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Godiva Holiday Truffles, 209g, box of 15, $109

Score: 2/5

Don't do it, it's a trap! The high price on these chocs is partly due to "exquisitely smooth dual-texture centres". Matcha cube excepted, most taste like cocoa powder and old kirsch.

Elegant and boozy.
Elegant and boozy.James Brickwood

Lindt Susse Grusse Handcrafted Pralines, 175g, box of 17, $19.95

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Score: 4/5

Elegant, boozy and exclusive to DJs. The cookie-flecked "makronen stern" is splendid, second only to the marc de champagne-filled number.

Well presented in a metal tin.
Well presented in a metal tin.James Brickwood

Koko Black Silly Snowmen & Topsy Trees, 165g, box of 12, $18.50

Score: 4.5/5

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Well-tempered dark chocolate reveals extra complexity the longer it sits in your mouth. The gold tin (love it) also has a sheet of DIY finger-puppets.

Custard

Three custards to try.
Three custards to try.James Brickwood

Norco Custard, 600g, $2.99

Score: 0.5/5

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The type of custard you might find suffocating microwaved fruit cake in a hospital ward. Made mostly with skim milk, it's too runny and tasteless for Christmas pudding, but probably OK as a treat for the cat.

Pauls Farmhouse Gold Vanilla Custard, 800g, $5.00

Score: 4/5

Whole milk only, hurrah. Cold from the bottle it wobbles like yoghurt; heat gently to amplify the vanilla. If you're not up for whisking your own from scratch, this is a solid, all-purpose choice.

Wicked Sister Madagascan Vanilla Custard, 500g, $6.69

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Score: 3.5/5

Delicious Australian gear, to be sure, but a generous amount of vanilla makes this a dessert unto itself. Ideal for eating straight from the tub, but the sweetness may overpower most puddings.

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Callan BoysCallan Boys is editor of SMH Good Food Guide, restaurant critic for Good Weekend and Good Food writer.

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