'The Reasonable One? That's not a thing.' What I learnt from the MasterChef judge auditions

About 12 years ago I received a call from a chef friend who said he'd recommended me as a potential judge for "some new talent show that involves cooking". He said they had already picked two chef judges and were auditioning food writers.

I wasn't sure I was ready for prime time, but I was curious. At that point in history, 'reality' talent quests were all the rage. My family were regular viewers of Australian Idol and Australia's Got Talent.

On the day of the audition, my daughter asked, "Which type of judge are you going to be – the Bitchy One, the Sentimental One, or the Silly One?" I said I was going to create a new category – the Reasonable One: "I'm going to be constructive and helpful". She laughed. "The Reasonable One? That's not a thing."

I arrived to find 10 aspiring judges sitting at the back of a test kitchen, where a poor woman cooked a chicken dish again and again while we were filmed criticising her. I did my Reasonable One act, keeping eye contact, suggesting the chicken might be helped by a little salt and a lot of parmesan.

I watched the next guy try out. He was wearing a red velvet jacket, and kept waving his hands around, declaring, "It needs more zing! More zing!"

I told my wife and daughter about it later. "He looked like he was auditioning to play Dorian Gray," I said. My wife responded: "While you were the painting in the attic?"

"He'll never get it," I said. "He's too over the top." Wife and daughter: "Yes he will. That's what they want on TV."

A few months later we watched the first episode of MasterChef and there was Dorian Gray, now using the name Matt Preston and with a cravat added to the velvet jacket. Next to him were George Calombaris as the Emotional One and Gary Mehigan as the Reasonable One.

Over the years, Preston perfected a whole new category of talent judge – the Flamboyant One. The only time he went too far was when (just before a commercial break) he hurled a plate to the floor and shouted, "This is disgusting …" After the break, he finished the sentence. "This is disgustingly good. It's disgusting you have not shown us this skill before."

The show transformed Australia into a nation of foodies, excessively familiar with such terms as 'plate up', 'deconstruct', 'sous-vide', 'quenelle', 'tempering' and 'jus', and addicted to publicly displaying every dish they've ever eaten in any restaurant.

Back in 2009, the MasterChef finale attracted 4 million viewers. Last week's finale attracted 1.3 million. And yet Flamboyant, Emotional and Reasonable asked for more money.

Ten promises new judges for next year. I suggest Adam Liaw as The Funny One, Maggie Beer as The Warm One, and Donna Hay as The Stern One.

My advice if they're called for an audition: Go way over the top. There's no future in being reasonable, especially in a world that elects Boris Johnson and Donald Trump.

David Dale is a former editor of The Good Food Guide and teaches media at the University of New South Wales.