Good Food road-test: the paleo diet
The premise: Eat like Paleolithic man. Meat! Vegetables! Nuts! Fruit (but not too much fruit). Fish! More meat! Just stay away from grains, dairy, legumes, processed food, and other fun things.
The results: OK, strap yourself in. The paleo-faithful preach we should eat the same food as our caveman cousins because our metabolism hasn't evolved to handle the staples that make up our modern diet. Foodstuffs the result of modern farming - grains, refined sugars, Happy Meals - are a no-go. Hardcore paleo dieters also really hate legumes.
But hang on, surely Encino Man had access to peas?
''Well, yes, maybe, but peas are classified as an anti-nutrient.''
Peas are a what now?
This is a diet (and, at times quasi-religion) I found hard to navigate, especially if you start throwing around questions of logic, anthropology, and calcium deficiency. However, it's not like Atkins or Scientology where there's only one L. Ron Mother Hubbard in charge of the cupboard. Each time I asked the internet if I could eat or drink this or that, Google would return myriad opinions from self-appointed experts of The Paleo Way. In the end, I simply cut out all grains, dairy, caffeine, alcohol, legumes, processed foods, and refined sugar for 30 days.
Removing gluten and caffeine in the one blow was crushing. By day two I wanted to die. By day three I could hardly move and wanted to pull my soul out through my knees. Things got better after a week. My energy levels became stable, I was sleeping better, and my mind was more focused. I had a blow-out 20 days in with a night on the grain and the grappa and felt more lethargic the next day than I ever had before.
My main qualm with the paleo diet is that I found it dull. Granola for breakfast, sashimi for lunch (hold the soy), and meat and greens for dinner each day make for a long week. I could have planned the days out better and injected each meal with more variety, but with a busy schedule it's hard to do. I don't know how anyone could pull this off with a family of non-paleo dieters.
The pros: After a couple of weeks, you do start to feel pretty good.
The cons: No bread is one thing, but no cheese either? That's just rude. And, if you happen to be into food, this diet is also about as exciting as watching the Weather Channel for three hours.
Dish discovery: Paleo Burger (aka a burger without a bun, aka a rissole with salad). The best parts of a burger without the carb coma afterwards.
Dish disaster: Almond milk. It is vile. Granted, I should have removed the skins after soaking and before blending.
Top three pantry staples: Steak, brussels sprouts, granola.
How hard is it to eat out? Very. Especially when you have to sound like a wally by asking what oil things are cooked in and whether the meat is grass-fed. Seeing untouchable and amazing pasta on the menu also hurts.
Did it work? Yes. Felt better, lost a couple of kegs. To quote a colleague however: ''Who the hell wants to feel good all the time?''
What will you keep? Have cut down on bread and caffeine in a big way.
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Callan Boys is editor of SMH Good Food Guide, restaurant critic for Good Weekend and Good Food writer.