Homewares as gifts: Should you, or shouldn't you?

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Never in my life have I been gifted a homeware item that I'd buy for myself.

There have been some gifts that I've come around to with time: a set of rustic earthenware bowls given to me by Mum at Christmas definitely weren't my style, but I've since found their proportions handy for everything from porridge to pasta.

There have been less successful gifts (as beautiful as they are, the $200-a-pop crystal champagne glasses we received for our wedding never get used), and outright disasters, too – including some items I've re-gifted and am too ashamed to identify.

To me, homewares are as personal as clothes. They must be the perfect fit. What works for you one season won't work the next, and it is unwise to think that a particular item somebody has bought for themselves is indicative of their whole interior style.

Sure, maybe somebody has a coastal theme to their abode (and you've seen lots of blue-and-white stripes there), but buying them anything from model yachts to ornamental oars is absolute overkill.

While it may seem ungrateful and disrespectful to turn one's nose down at any kind of gift, I've an anecdote that may change your mind.

Thirty years ago, my best friend's mother had a few chooks in her backyard. Somebody bought her a tea towel with a chicken on it as a gift, to which she expressed polite thanks (but was less than keen on).

The giver of said gift must have told all friends and family members that chicken homewares were the way to go. Every subsequent birthday and Christmas for three decades, all she received was chicken-themed items. Plates with chickens on them. Chicken salt and pepper shakers. Metal chicken garden ornaments.

My friend's mum eventually confessed – knowing it was far too late – "I hate this stuff!". She had found herself in a deep hole of chook-wares and could see no way out. To this day, her house looks like a memorial to Colonel Sanders.

Now, many may think the better option here would have been to simply say you didn't like a gift in the first place. Oh, hindsight, such a wonderful thing. But here's the problem with that: you can't openly express discontent to the giver when you receive a gift. It makes you an awful human being.

The real solution here is just to not give homewares as gifts at all, unless you really, really know the person.

Here's a good rule of thumb: if you would buy them a jacket or a shirt as a gift, it's probably OK to buy them a throw or some crockery.

As for any homewares gift that is personal and unique? I'd say you'd need to know them well enough to buy them a pair of pants, too. If you're close enough to someone to know their hip-to-waist ratio, leg length and preferred fit, you know them well enough to gift an artisanal scented candle or ever-so-intimate sheet set.

- stuff.co.nz