10 of the most extra moments from Paris Hilton's new cooking show

• 'I made Paris Hilton's lasagne and it tasted like a shoe' - Paris Hilton's recipe, reviewed

The world has for years been crying out for a show that combines simple home cooking with whatever Paris Hilton is, and it's finally here.

In Cooking With Paris, the plucky heiress gets together with her celebrity pals to have stilted conversations, wear expensive clothes and cook basic dishes with extreme difficulty. You can view Cooking With Paris on many levels: ironic parody, shameless lowest-common-denominator cash-in, surrealist art installation. I binged the whole first series – so don't ever say I don't do anything for you – and came to the conclusion it's best viewed on the level of, "Uhhhhhh…?"

Here are the 10 Most Paris Moments from Cooking With Paris, S1. All six episodes landed on Netflix last week. .

Sliving breakfast marshmallows
"Cereal is my favourite food group," Paris says as she plans an extravagant Lucky Charms-themed breakfast party. What does this mean? Basically: balloons. In the kitchen Paris microwaves marshmallows "till they're all melty", colours them blue and coats them with glitter. "That's what I call sliving blue marshmallows," she crows: a helpful caption informs us that "sliving = slaying + living your best life". As if you didn't know. Then Kim Kardashian comes over to help Paris cut the marshmallows into fun shapes, and the audience starts to feel kind of lightheaded.

Kim and Paris have a D&M
After feasting on French toast, frittatas and of course sliving marshmallows, Ms Hilton and Ms Kardashian get deep and discuss, like, life and stuff. "Nobody has ever partied as hard and looks like you," Kim, gazing at her friend in wonder, tells Paris, who takes the compliment with her usual graceful humility. Kim promises Paris that her forties will be her best years, and Paris reflects that though she's lived like a 21-year-old her whole life, she feels now it's time to move on. We are left in awe at the way making a frittata can trigger an entirely new phase of a person's life. It shows that Paris isn't all parties and frocks: she also has feelings and stuff.

Paris takes some time out for photos
Paris is making a Mexican feast, but between preparing the tortillas and taking receipt of a gigantic taco-shaped pinata, there is a super important job to get out of the way: sit in a photo booth and pout. Not many celebrity chefs pay close attention to the photographic side of cookery, but that's what sets Paris apart from Peter Russell Clarke: for Paris there is always time for posing.

Don't drink and blend
Paris is visited by a person called "Saweetie", who has nails like bayonets and a dress that she is almost wearing. As the camera is distracted by Saweetie's generous endowments' constant fight for freedom, Paris and Saweetie are distracted by the enormous margaritas they're downing while making salsa. After generating a certain amount of smoke in the process of roasting the vegetables, they notice something wrong with the blender. The problem: along with the ingredients, they threw in the top of a pepper shaker. The inclusion of metal in the salsa has broken the blender, which is a major problem because how will Paris afford a new one?

Paris gets some cardio
Changing into her personalised tracksuit, Paris peels potatoes for her vegan McDonald's fries (actual McDonald's fries are not vegan because they are fried in orphans' tears). She is amazed at how much sheer effort goes into peeling a potato, particularly when you hold it at arm's length like you think it's going to bite you or vomit on you or something. "Peeling potatoes = cardio" comes the handy hint, for anyone looking for a fun new way to work out.

A meeting of minds
You may think you have seen wonders, but let me tell you, you have not seen the magic that this world has to offer until you have seen Paris Hilton and comedian Nikki Glaser put their heads together to try to figure out what a "whisk" is. Then they break the blender again.

Making pasta with Demi Lovato
Demi Lovato comes over to help Paris make heart-shaped ravioli. If you've ever wondered how to make fresh pasta, you should definitely watch this episode, after which you will continue to wonder. Paris and Demi have a recipe to follow, but certain complex instructions like "crack an egg" prove too much for them. They eventually make the dough, but the pasta maker, having witnessed all that went before, refuses to cooperate, so Paris just gets a bag of pasta she bought from the shop, representing surely the show's most useful handy hint of all.

Poultry nightmare
It's the holidays, so Paris goes to the market to buy a turkey. But as she looks at the huge bird in its plastic bag, suddenly we are plunged into a film noir fever dream: everything goes black-and-white and the air is filled with clucking as Paris looks frantically around and finds various porcelain chickens mocking her. In a panic, Paris runs away, but finds there is no escape from the monstrous poultry. It's a wonderful tribute to the classic oeuvre of Alfred Hitchcock, and fortunately it turns out it was just a dream. Paris buys the turkey, showing bravery beyond measure.

Thoughts on nomenclature
After making vaguely edible-looking mac 'n' cheese, Paris and a person named "Lele Pons" – who speaks at a ratio of ten words for every one able to be understood – discuss the names of Paris's apparently-imminent offspring. Her daughter will be named London, to carry on the family tradition of naming children after cities. She doesn't know what her son will be called because there are no cool male cities that spring to mind. The conversation will in a very real sense take your breath away.

The Hiltons reach apotheosis
Paris's mum Kathy and sister Nicky come over for family steak night. Before dinner, they check out the edible gold flakes that Paris got from the farmers' market. The three Hilton women, together, eating gold: it's the most Hilton image ever caught on film.

Cooking With Paris is screening now on Netflix