MasterChef recap: Rushed ragu gets some through, but for one team it's pasta la vista, baby

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It's Meet the Masters Week – that's right, after the week of global cooking superstars, and then meeting former MasterChef contestants, it's finally time for the amateurs to meet some people who are good at cooking.

Monday's Master is Andreas Papadakis, a man who has TWO restaurants, an incredibly selfish act when you consider how many people out there haven't even got one. It's perhaps the amateurs' biggest challenge so far: pretending they know who Andreas Papadakis is and that they're super excited to meet him.

Papadakis is apparently very good at making pasta, and even though everyone in the kitchen already knows how to make pasta – you just boil water in a pot and then tip the packet in – he shows them all the fancy show-off way of making pasta, where you have a big sheet and you put it through an old-timey washing machine. Also if you want to make the kind of pasta that is the shape of a human ear because you're catering for a Blue Velvet-themed party, you need to use your fingers. And if you're making the kind of pasta that is rolled around a rod, you need to roll it around a rod. It's really a fascinating lesson in how something that looks extremely easy can actually be very simple, and how often the things that take the least effort are not actually worth doing. Also sometimes pasta is black for no reason.

Today's team challenge sees the amateurs divided into six teams of three. Each team must cook a three-course meal, the worst team to go into tomorrow's pressure test. Also Brent, who missed the last pressure test, will have to do tomorrow's no matter what, giving him no incentive to do anything today at all. The three courses must include a pasta entrée, a pasta main, and a "light dessert", which could mean a dessert that doesn't weigh much, or a dessert that is made out of light. Which would, of course, also not weigh much. The big question: will anyone have the guts to make a spaghetti Bolognese ice-cream?

Elise is excited because, being half-Italian, she is skilled at making half-good pasta. More nervous is Jess, because she's on the same team as Pete, and Pete is making an osso bucco. "Is that a risk? I think that's a risk," says Andy, rudely not waiting for an answer. Osso bucco is a risk because they only have 75 minutes, and osso bucco traditionally needs at least four weeks to cook. But Pete is extremely confident, for reasons that have never been clear. Andy asks Andreas whether he would make an osso bucco. Andreas says he wouldn't, but makes it clear he's uncomfortable speaking to the judges, none of whom are as good at pasta as him.

Bizarrely, every team is making dough to turn into pasta, not realising you can get it already made in plastic bags. For a show sponsored by Coles, this is a huge missed opportunity. The judges ask Justin what the pink team is up to. He says a lot of words and I might be wrong but I'm pretty sure he says they're making "Gargamel". Is the pink team making a Smurfs-themed menu?

The red team is conflicted, because on the one hand they have Elise who is really up herself about pasta, but on the other hand they have Brent, who will be in the elimination whether he cooks well or not, and so has no reason not to sabotage his team. They also risk running out of time because Elise might spend the entire cook telling the camera that she's Italian.

The grey team has Tommy and Kishwar, calmly going about their pasta business. They also have "Scott", who is making coffee ice-cream but is still not technically a real person, which could cost them. Meanwhile on the blue team Sabina has no idea how to pronounce any of her elements and will therefore be disqualified. Sabina's teammate Conor, in contrast to most of the fairly stupid teams, is not making a ragu because ragus take too long, so he's doing a…thingy with oil or something.

Linda is happy with her ragu, but her green team has not started rolling the pasta, and the clock shows it is half past pasta-rolling-o'clock. Andy comes to the bench to look judgmental and tell them to start rolling pasta. Linda agrees, even though those packets are right there in the pantry! Just go get them! "The pasta has to be perfect," says Tom, which as always when someone on MasterChef says something has to be perfect, is not true: nothing ever has to be perfect, it just has to be slightly better than the worst dish on the day.

With just five minutes to go, the soundtrack is becoming ever more ominous, and the frequency of contestants' speech being edited mid-sentence to cut off the full meaning of what they were trying to say is hitting an all-time high. Pete is panicking about his osso bucco, but even in moments of high stress, his pleasant, even, Village of the Damned speech patterns remain the same. Impressive. Meanwhile Tommy is proud that he's put up a dish that looks pretty Italian, in that its economy has crashed and its infrastructure is in desperate need of upgrading.

Time is up, and as they at no point said in last night's challenge, the proof of the pasta is in the disappointing. The blue team is up first: Conor, Sabina and Depinder. "Dreams do come true," says Conor, who has always dreamed of serving pasta to Andreas Papadakis, but has always woken up just before he tastes it. Their three courses are ideal, even Depinder's, despite her having not been on screen until now.

Next is the grey team: Tommy, Kishwar and "Scott". Their meal is good enough to make the music go sentimental. Then the green team: Eric, Linda and Tom. Their ragu is rushed, their burnt butter is heavy, and their families are ashamed. However, their sorbet is good, which is what you really want in a pasta challenge.

Next the brown team: Pete, Jess and Amir – remember Amir? Andreas did not enjoy the entrée, which seeing as it had beetroot, ricotta and brown butter sauce combined, is no surprise. Like the green team, the brown team's ragu was rushed, because guess what making something that takes longer than the time you have to make it, is a big fat mistake. The brown team's meal has turned out as unimpressive as the colour of their aprons.

Step up the red team, led by Elise who is half-Italian and would hate you to forget the fact. Her entrée is perfect, which sadly will only make her more smug. The team's main is also good, the ragu succeeding against overwhelming odds.

Finally, the pink team, where Dan is concerned that he might be a bad pasta-cutter. Jock immediately slams Dan's terrible pasta-cutting – all the pasta bits are different widths and lengths, which is a dreadful faux pas despite not actually mattering in any way. Also their ragu is rubbish, as you might expect.

An air of gloom hangs over the kitchen, which stinks of ragu and failure. "What a great way to kick off Masters Week," Jock lies. It's tough to pick just one terrible team to go into the pressure test, but the judges have decided that the pink team's inability to make uniform linguini cannot go unpunished. So Dan, Therese and Justin must cook for elimination, as well as Brent, the quarantine quisling.

Tune in tomorrow, when Kirsten Tibbles subjects the contestants to a deadly psychological game of cat and mouse.

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