A guide to vegetarian tribes: What kind of meat dodger would you be?

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As I write, I am eating a hoisin duck wrap, yet for most of my life I have described myself as vegetarian. Well, semi-vegie, friends scoff, pointing to the numerous occasions they've seen me order steak tartare and medium-rare burgers. But with endless meat-related health warnings ringing in my head, I do my best to abstain.

I once attempted to instigate "meat-free Mondays" in my household, the Paul and Stella McCartney initiative to encourage families to go vegetarian once a week for the sake of the planet (there's an upside for their vegetarian ready-meals business, too).

Yet to the card-carrying meat-dodger, I am nothing but a faketarian. However, I am not alone in being what is technically called a "flexitarian" – that is, doing one's best to follow a vegetarian diet, but not foregoing meat altogether if it looks good on a restaurant menu (or if you just fancy it).

To use an inappropriate expression, there are many ways to skin a cat, just as there are many shades of meat-refusal.

My current compromise is a vegetarian 1:3 diet: going one week of the month meat-free, three weeks of the month omnivorous. Because for every vego who religiously checks labels for "slaughter by-products", as the UK Vegetarian Society delightfully puts it, such as animal fats, gelatin (made from tendons and bones) and rennet (the stomach lining of slaughtered calves, used to harden cheese), there's someone with far less willpower doing their very best. Right up until that moment they smell the bacon sizzling.

There'll be plenty of lentil-based revelry to be had on November 1, World Vegan Day – so it seems like a good time to ask: what kind of vegetarian do you want to be?

In other words, it's an umbrella term for some, but not all, vego variations. If you eat fish, you are not vegetarian. If you eat chicken, you are not vegetarian.

If you eat certain low-fat yoghurts or gummy lollies, strictly speaking you are not vegetarian, either, as they contain animal by-roducts (there's an extensive list of vego no-nos here: vegsoc.org/veggieaware).

Famous vegetarians include fantasy dinner party guests Jeremy Corbyn, Bill Clinton and Morrissey. I'll bring the tofu cheesecake.

Vegan

While entry-level vegetarianism allows for the enjoyment of cheese toasties, milkshakes and scrambled eggs, a vegan diet excludes all dairy products, and seeks to exclude not just killing, but exploitation, too.

So vegans also tend to avoid by-products made from animals, such as leather, as well as any that have been tested on animals. Oh, and honey's out, too, as bees cannot give consent, OK?

Vegans need to ensure their diet contains a reliable source of vitamin B12, which helps the brain, nerves and blood work properly and occurs naturally only in animal products. However, it can be found in fortified plant-based foodstuffs such as tempeh.

Anyone interested in joining Brad Pitt and Ellen DeGeneres in eliminating all animal products from their diet should use the barcode scanning app Is It Vegan.

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Reducetarian

According to the Reducetarian Foundation, its followers aim to "improve human health, protect the environment and spare farm animals from cruelty by reducing consumption of animal products". Crucially, however, it is not an all-or-nothing approach; anyone who aspires to eat less meat is welcome. Coined by food systems expert and foundation co-founder Brian Kateman in 2015 to describe a person who is deliberately reducing his or her consumption of meat, the label fits my own habits.

Essentially, the message boils down to: don't worry if you eat the odd chicken breast – at least you're trying.

Flexitarian

Flexitarians are similar to reducetarians in their aspiration to eat less meat without cutting it out altogether, but with a more structured approach. Practitioners might go meat-free on a designated day of the week, or only eat meat at weekends, or when dining out so as not to be seen as a fussy eater. It has also been called "casual vegetarianism". Pretty perfect for an age of fluid identities.

Pescatarian

"Vegetarians" who eat fish and shellfish, but not meat. Step forward, Ariana Grande, Ben Stiller and rapper Chuck D.

Veggan

A vegan who eats eggs. The benefits: eggs are tasty, convenient – and, perhaps more importantly, an easy source of protein and essential amino acids (which can't be said for the vegan diet). Cooking for a veggan is easier than catering for a vegan, but only marginally.

Pegan

This is where it starts to get really complicated. A pegan is a paleo-vegan: that is, someone who combines the paleo diet – the seasonal, mostly plant-based regime eaten by cavemen, but with eggs, fish, a little red meat but no cereals – with the vegan diet. Still confused? Roughly 75 per cent of the pegan's food will be vegan-friendly fruit and veg, and the other 25 per cent will be animal protein and high-quality fats (as in the paleo diet). The idea is that by appropriating the best bits of both diets, you achieve a perfect balance. Basketball player LeBron James attributed his dramatic weight loss in 2014 to a paleo-vegan diet.

Raw vegan

As well as excluding all animal-related food items, those leading a raw vegan existence restrict themselves to food cooked at a temperature below 49C. In practice, this means eating a lot of raw veg, nuts and seeds, among (a few) other things. Venus Williams swears by it. But what have raw vegans got against cooking, you might ask? They say it diminishes the nutrients in food and even makes it "toxic".

Fruitarian

Also known as frugivores, fruitarians eat nothing but fruit, bar the odd nut or seed. Needless to say, it's a highly restrictive diet and one that carries an extreme risk of malnourishment. Even the Fruitarian Info website notes that "a 100 per cent fruit diet is not recommended". Vegetables, it adds, are vital for adequate nutrition. Steve Jobs was an occasional acolyte. Beyond this, the diet is well represented on Instagram, where almost 535,000 posts are captioned #fruitarian. You can't help but wonder if it's more aspirational than realistic.

The Daily Telegraph, London