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Elbows are back on the table as Gen Z say manners no longer relevant

More than three quarters of those polled aged over 16 said traditional table etiquette was outdated nonsense.

Ewan Somerville

Elbows are making their way back to the dinner table as youngsters believe that manners are no longer relevant, according to a new study.

Some 60 per cent of those aged 12 to 27 – known as Gen Z – believe traditional table manners are no longer relevant and more than a third have admitted to using their phones at the table, according to the poll by the UK’s Censuswide.

Illustraton by Dionne Gain.
Illustraton by Dionne Gain.

It has sparked a warning from Debrett’s, the 250-year-old etiquette coaching company, to “sit up straight, don’t fidget and don’t put elbows on the table” as a golden rule to “ensure that your table manners never fall short or let you down”.

But in the poll of 2000 Britons aged over 16, more than three quarters said that leaving elbows off the table is outdated nonsense and more than half admitted to not caring which way round one holds their knife and fork.

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“The main aim is not to look greedy, voracious, or over-casual, which might be offensive to hosts who have taken the trouble to prepare delicious food.”
Liz Wyse, etiquette advisor

Gen Z appear to be leading the charge towards loosened table rules, as among all age groups, only a third say they never worry about their table manners and half admitted that they had recently been unsatisfied with their dining counterparts’ etiquette.

However, 54 per cent of all age groups believed that table manners were outdated, just six per cent less than among Gen Z, the research, for the UK pizza restaurant chain Prezzo, showed.

The use of phones and elbows is far less among older generations though, with just a quarter and a fifth respectively admitting to doing this overall.

Phones at the dining table? No biggie, say Gen Z.
Phones at the dining table? No biggie, say Gen Z. Getty
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Biggest bugbears

The biggest bugbears when it comes to table manners among all ages were ranked as chewing loudly, followed by picking food off other people’s plates without asking, using a phone at the table and having pets at the table while dining.

But those polled admitted that answering calls and texts during dinner, not waiting for all food to arrive before starting and keeping elbows down were the traditional rules they most often forget.

Table manners to obey

According to Liz Wyse, etiquette advisor at Debrett’s

  • The most effective table manners are the ones that will never get you noticed, or cause dismay or consternation in your fellow diners.
  • If you sit up straight, chew with your mouth closed, serve other diners, resist bolting your food and manage to talk civilly to your neighbour as well as eating, you will certainly pass muster.
  • The main aim is not to look greedy, voracious, or over-casual, which might be offensive to hosts who have taken the trouble to prepare delicious food.
  • Any small errors in relation to the more arcane rules of cutlery-wielding, salt-shaking, bread-buttering, and fingerbowl-dipping will be overlooked because your demeanour is civilised and courteous.

Three quarters of Gen Z, born between 1997 and 2012, admitted in the poll that they have experienced traditionally poor manners at restaurants and felt dissatisfied with their dining cohort, compared to 47 per cent of Gen X, born between 1965 and 1980.

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Nearly half of Gen Z instead said that good conversation and great food are the priority at the dining table instead of stuffy rules.

The Telegraph, London

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